Turkey Day

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!
Due to Thanksgiving, Cruel Hazel will be on break until Monday.
Maybe.
Like if something really interesting happens.
But don't rely on it.
So go eat your turkey.
Or not.

GO!

-CH

Fag Hag

I am a fag hag. I am a HELL of a fag hag. If fag hagging was a profession, I'd be pulling in a six digit salary.
For those of you unaware, a fag hag is pretty much a girl who hangs out with gay boys way too much. I LOVE being a fag hag. Why? There are so so so many reasons.
For instance, there's no pressure or tension in the gay man/fag hag relationship. In most straight guy/ girl friendships, there's always some sort of sexual tension on at least one of the sides. In most girl/girl frienships, there's always an element of competitiveness, of cattiness. In the gay man/fag hag relationship, there's no sexual tension and there's no competitiveness because you're not trying to impress the same people.
I personally love being a fag hag for one reason, though.
I get to hang out with a bunch of pretty boys all day. They aren't attracted to me, but it's ok because it's NOT MY FAULT! They're gay!
Hooray!

United Theocracy of America

A lot of assumptions are made involving a lot of my personal views. For instance, my stance on abortion and gay marriage. People are quick to say, "Oh, you believe what you believe because you're a liberal."
Not really.
I'm a liberal BECAUSE I believe what I believe.
I know I've discussed my views on abortion and gay marriage before, but indulge me once again.
People are quick to say "Oh, you're a liberal, non-Catholic woman, of course you're pro-choice." or moreso "Oh, you're bi, of course you're pro-gay marriage."
But if you've been reading carefully, you'd notice my standpoint is slightly different than the typical libertarian. I'm not "pro-abortion," but I am "pro-choice." I'm pro-gay marriage because I'm not pro-any marriage. (See "Ban Marriage" 11/11/04.) I don't hold these views because I'm a liberal, I hold them because I believe in one thing more than anything else in law.
The separation of Church and State.
The entire pro-life stance is a based on the Catholic standpoint that life begins at conception. The anti-gay marriage standpoint, and a great deal of anti-gay standpoints, is based on Christian or hyper-religious standpoints. We are granted freedom of religion here in the states, but we are also granted freedom FROM religion. We must fight against the eventually evolution of our country into a veritable Christian theocracy, even more of a threat under the Bush administration.

I don't believe what I believe because of my own beliefs, I believe them because I believe the beliefs are my OWN.
And my own, alone.

Has anyone used a dictionary recently?

There is a 'demonstration' of sorts going on at my campus right now. There's a huge display put on by the Genocide Awareness Project on a major section of the campus graphically comparing abortion with genocide campaigns such as the Holocaust, Rwanda, the lynchings of African-Americans, and so forth.
A desperate plea to GAP-

Please please please get the hell off my campus.

There's no bullshitting here, ok? Everyone knows my stance on the whole debate. I'm vehemently pro-choice. I believe abortion is a horrible thing, but it's not up to the law to decide, it's up to the women.
But my views on choice aren't what this post is about.
Whether or not I'm pro-choice, that display is hideously offensive to me.
Why?
Because they are exploiting my ancestry. They are marginalizing my heritage for their own purposes. And that is WRONG.
Six million of my Jewish ancestors were systematically and brutally killed in the Holocaust. How dare they exploit that?
The Holocaust, Rwanda, lynchings... they were all racially driven! They all happened because a group of people said "Hey, we really hate those people! They're different than us!" Abortion isn't about that. In the Holocaust, Hitler systematically murdered Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, and so forth because he hated them. They were different. He went after ALL of them. All fully alive human beings.
This is simply not the same as abortion. Pro-choice people do not go around going "Look! A pregnant woman! Let's go suck out the fetus!" NO! No pro-choice person sees abortion as anything but a last option. We do not go searching out for pregnant women to give abortions to. We don't force them to have it. We do not hate fetuses!
And despite the obvious differences, GAP still thinks it's ok to make false analogies.
Well, it's not.
So get the fuck off my campus, assholes.

Broken Saints

I'll be honest, I'm trying to do my best to avoid writing about personal stuff, but this is rather important and it deserves a plug.
Everyone's views are based on something, are influenced by someone. Mine are influenced by many many things and many many people. But among them is a certain man who truly helped shaped my view on social theories. His name is Brooke Burgess. He is the writer/director of an online animated novel series called Broken Saints. It's an avant-garde flash animation series, truly beautiful and thrilling. I had the pleasure of being contacted by him about 3 and a half years ago. I had seen his website, dropped a note on his guestbook saying how much I had enjoyed it and, boom, three hours later, I received an IM from him complimenting me on my writing that he had seen on a website of mine.
Thus began a beautiful relationship.
We had many a late-night conversation and I have saved every piece of correspondence between the two of us. We spoke of the basic nature and driving forces of mankind. We spoke philosophy, sociology, politics. We disagreed many times, but there was always a mutual respect. He was a true mentor and influence on my life and I feel that's it's only appropriate that I allow a plug for a man that affected my life so greatly.

So, Brooke, here's to you.

http://www.brokensaints.com/

Ban Marriage

Sorry that this is short, but it's a bit late here.
I've had a few questions as to my view on gay marriage in the US. Here's my opinion.
There shouldn't be marraige in law at ALL.
The government should only be allowed to give civil unions to all couples, heterosexual or homosexual. If you want to get married, go find a church to do it. Stop trying to bring religious morals into this. If two people love each other enough that they want to be legally connected, stop worrying if they're the same gender. Just say Mazel Tov and give them a damn civil union. Marriage has no place in secular law and we need to stop pretending it does.
And to Bush:
Stop screwing with the union of couples of all sexualities.
There. 'Nuff said.
-CH

Don't Agonize, Organize

I apologize for missing last night's posting I'll make it up to you guys, I promise!

So, last night I went to see a great concert by RebbeSoul. They're some great musicians who take traditional, mostly Jewish, tunes and re-invent them. They were absolutely fantastic. They had these two incredible percussionists, both of which I had the pleasure of meeting.Cassio Duarte and John Walker were simply incredible.

This story goes somewhere, I promise.

So, after the concert, John Walker and I were talking with some other people and he saw my ever-present messenger bag and its multitudes of politically related buttons. He commented on it, I mentioned that yes, I was a crazy liberal to which he replied. "Oh. Then I'm sorry." This referred to the election of George W. Bush as the next president (as far as I'm concerned, he didn't win the first time around.), not to the fact that I'm a liberal. I told him my feelings on the election. And that's what today's post is.

I told you the story went someplace.

So, the election of Bush. I know I posted earlier my distaste to the results of the '04 election. ("Hello? 1972?" Why, yes! We can make the same mistake twice!") I even made several references to a possible defection to Canada. But as of right now, it looks like I'll be spending the next long while in the States. So, it's about time that we alter the attitudes to better suit the upcoming political era of craziness.
First thing we have to deal with is the fact that Bush won. Disturbing at best. But he did. Democracy took it's course and ended up sucking in the process. But the process was followed and we HAVE to respect that. So move on, people.
Now, what do we do? Organize. We can't change the president, we need to work with what we have. That means it's more important than EVER to lobby for your cause. Now is the time to push for what needs to be done. And it's time to push harder than ever. We have to really hold our politicians to the fire and pressure them to support our rights. It is no longer acceptable for us to sit at home and decide not to be involved.
And if that doesn't work....

Then it's time for a revolution.

A letter to governor Robert Ehrlich

Dear Governor Bob Ehrlich,

Stop fucking with my education.

No, really, I'm serious. Pull up your pants and stop raping higher education funding.

In case you weren't aware, at 6:15 this evening, a large group of University of Maryland College Park students rallied on the McKeldin Mall and begged you to stop cutting our funding. We NEED that money. We are Maryland's flagship school and you're just bending us over and making us your bitch. Why the HELL are you cutting are funding? We have the sixth highest tuition in the COUNTRY for a public university. And now you want to cut funding and raise tuition? Most of us aren't like you. WE didn't get to go to Princeton on a free ride. Parents are barely scraping together tuition and housing, kids are working to get through college and you want to screw them over with tuition hikes?

You are one cold hearted bastard.

Maybe you're not aware, but not only are we an excellent school education-wise, but we are an excellent addition to Maryland. We create jobs. For every dollar that is invested into the University, it comes back six-fold. You whine that you want more educated workers? Then why the hell are you cutting back on funds? Where in the name of all that is good and holy do you think education comes from?!

We have lost professors and teachers, we are losing our edge in technology, we are losing educational departments, we've had to cut back on dining hall hours, we can't renovate our shitty dorms, most of which don't even have AIR CONDITIONING, and we're losing funding for our student organizations.
We NEED that money.
And may I add, we're pissed.

Guess what. We have a shitload of voters here. And we won't stand for it. We will put the pressure on you. And in two years, we will kick your pasty ass out of office.
When you're taking it out to fuck higher education, we're going to grab you by the balls. And I assure you, we will be full ready to twist.

So in conclusion:
Please stop fucking with us.

Sincerely,
Cruel Hazel

Cost of War

Priorites, People.

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."
President Dwight D. Eisenhower
April 16, 1953

Go here- http://www.costofwar.com/
You'll be amazed.

Post-Election Nursery Rhymes

Well, that's it. I'm moving to Canada.

Really, the outcome of the election was rather disappointing. I mean, don't get me wrong, we had a record voter turnout this year. That was fabulous. Hurray for you! But Mid-West America, one question for you-

What the HELL were you thinking?

Anyhow, enough whining. I'm gonna go take advantage of my last few moments of having rights as a woman and a bisexual.
Here are some Post-Election Nursery rhymes for you. Go have fun. Read 'em to your kids. Jade 'em while they're young, I say. That's what the original nursery rhymes were all about anyway. Socio-Political commentary, that is. I'm just re-releventng them.

Georgie Porgie Post-Election
Georgie Porgie, Dick's little guy,
Took his country to war on a lie,
But when it came to Election Day,
Somehow Georgie Porgie got to stay.

Iraq Sheep the Black Sheep
Baa, Baa, Iraq Sheep,
Will you take the blame?
'Yes, sir, yes, sir, we'll distract them again
From the failing job markets,
From the thousand troopers died,
Not to mention all the rights they're losing on the side.'
Baa, Baa, Iraq Sheep,
Will you take the the blame?
'Yes, sir, yes sir,
We'll distract them all again.'

This Is The War Lies Built
This is the war lies built.

These are the $145,000,000,000 already spent
In the war that lies built.

These are the 8,150 troops wounded,
And the $145,000,000,000 already spent
In the war that lies built.

These are the 1,124 American soldiers dead,
And the 8,150 troops wounded,
And the $145,000,000,000 already spent
In the war that lies built.

These are the 1,266 total coalition soldiers dead
Including the 1,128 American soldiers dead
And the 8,150 troops wounded,
And the $145,000,000,000 already spent
In the war that lies built

The Day Is Upon Us

Tomorrow is the big day. The Presidential Election. The day we decide who will be the focus of our scandals for the next 4-8 years. The day we choose, as many put it, 'the lesser of the two evils.'
And I can't help but think that's pretty damn sad to have that sort of mentality.
Think back, way back, before the vicious Republican/Democrat wars. Think back to that very first president we had. George Washington, remember him? He didn't become president because he was the 'lesser of evils', he became our leader because he deserved it. When did the freedom to choose our leader devolve into the chore of picking our impending doom? Is it voter apathy? Is it corrupt politicians? Is it a vicious cycle of one leading to the other leading to the other?
It is time to reclaim our politicians and reclaim our rights. We must vote to be heard. We must lobby to change. We must learn about our RIGHTS to truly understand.