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Monday, May 09, 2005

Lesbian Pirates!

I figured it out. I'm finally going to become a cult classic. I'm going to start a small music group called "Lesbian Pirates." The name alone buys me an entire demographic of yuppies. And the songs practically write themselves:

1) The Vagina Song - The words go like this, "Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina vagina... puuuusssssy!"

2) Yuppies Will Buy Anything - "Sell some tequila past it's prime/ And call it Ethnic Turpentine./ Put some chummus in their hair/ And call it Mid-Eastern beauty care/ Because yuppies will buy anything..."

3) They Won't Let Me Into Sororities- "What it comes down to in the end,/ I don't need to join a club to make friends."

4) Coffee Is Hot- "Strong, bold, rich;/ Just the way I like you./Hot, dark, fluid;/ As I touch my lips to you./ My first desire in the morning/ My last taste at night."

5) White Boys Are White Bread- "I guess it's because they've become a bore/ but white boys don't arouse me anymore."

6) Tap Rob's Ass- "Doesn't matter the time or season/ You don't need any rhyme or reason/ Just bring it hard and bring it fast/ Ladies, you know you wanna tap Rob's ass."

7) Good Bi Love- "I loves the cock, I admit it's true,/ But damn! I love the vagina too!"

8) Nekkie- (Spoken word against a 8 chord progression) "I'm thinking about you naked."


**UPDATE 05/09 5:05**
I think I'm going to do a song entitled "I'll Get You A Sandwich When YOU Fix My Damn Car."

**UPDATE 05/20 **
More Songs to add to the list:
-Bibamus, Moriendum Est
-Just Because You Watch Anime, It Doesn't Make You Japanese
-Fat Chicks Need Love, Too
-Geek Girl

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh it's awesome
I'll buy the first 5 copies
-Alan Scott your frolic buddy

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Beqx said...

Oh Julie... yeah that's it, I just don't know what to say beyond that.

(and won't you please be my neighbor again? life is too boring)

11:35 PM  

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