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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

A Divine Deviation

I'm not in the habit of posting my creative writing pieces or religious material... but I did this piece recently in a slam and it was fun... so enjoy the deviation.

A Letter from the Guys Who Created Religion
((As performed at an open mic))

I got a letter the other day
from the guys who created religion.
Yeah, I didn't know about them either,
but they sounded legit.
Anyways, apparently there's been some misunderstandings
And they heard there was a show tonight
And they wanted me to read this.
So, just give me a second to get this out here...
Here we go, now. Listen up.
"To... well,... everyone-
Hey. What's up? How is the weather..."
It goes on like that for a bit.
Let me skip ahead a little...
Here we go.
"Sorry you haven't heard from us in a while,
But it seems like something went wrong,
So, we guessed we'd try to clear it all up.
We're the guys who created religion.
Yeah, Man created religion.
It makes sense though, right?
What does God need religion for?
Religion is for Man.
Why shouldn't it be created by Man?
But we digress.
We're the guys who created religion.
All religion.
Because really, it all started out as one religion.
What happenned was, we looked around and realized
Man needed something to believe in.
Nothing too fancy,
but something.
So, we introduced God.
(Oh, we should state here, by the way,
when we started all of this,
God was a woman.
Not like in an Alanis Morisette in Dogma sort of way,
more like a Mawu Mother-Goddess figure.)
when we created religion,
it was simple.
There was a God.
and God loved you.
Not so much like a father,
because sometimes they can be distant and disciplinarian, right?
More like a mother,
and not one of those nagging ones, either,
more like one of those 50's Beaver Cleaver mothers
with lemonade and cookies
and endless love and support.
And you know, that was God,
endless love and support.
If you ever felt alone
or depressed,
you knew that God loved you
and everything was good.
It all worked out great.
God loved Man
and all Man had to do
was to love Man also.
It was a great system.
But we hadn't anticipated
what would happen after a while.
Somewhere along the line,
this idea of endless unconditional love
turned into the Crusades,
White Supremecy,
and Jerry Falwell.
All this shit
carried out in the name of God,
a God of endless unconditional love.
So, obviously, something went very very wrong along the way.
We don't want to preach,
another thing we never intended, by the way,
we just wanted to clear things up.
When we created religion,
it was simple.
God loved Man
and all God wanted
was for Man to love Man.
Everything else had nothing to do wth us.
Especially Jerry Falwell.
And we're not telling you how
or what
to believe.
We're just saying,
that's the way it used to be
and it was a GREAT system.
The Guys Who Created Religion"
And that's where it ends.

It did sound like a great system, didn't it?

Blogger Johnny said...


10:32 AM  

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